It's Project Everlasting

Our neighbor Bambee promised to show me the greeting card she made for her parents’ golden wedding anniversary yet our busy schedule during the holidays did not allow us to see each other. I wanted to use her handmade card as a visual aid for the class on the Sacrament of Matrimony I will be giving to a club of young professional women in our vicinity. Four days before the talk, Bambee sent me not her handcrafted card but a package with a note:  Mel, lending you this book which may be a good reference for the talk you are preparing. Nice Stories! It’s Project everlasting.

Two bachelors and best friends Mathew Boggs and Jason Miller wrote Project everlasting.

 Project everlasting—written by best friends Mathew Boggs and Jason Miller—is a showcase of the greatest marriages in the United States distilled in candid stories to communicate what it takes to make love lasts to more than 40 years.  It documented the highlights of their 200 interviews with couples having more than 40, 50, or 60 years of marriage.  They call these couples Marriage Masters not because they have perfect marriages but because they have superbly mastered themselves —their egos—and made their partnerships work for them and their families.

 Everlasting or endless love—is it realistic or is it just a song? I think that a happy marriage is not limited to nice, happy and funny experiences together nor could it be just focused on establishing wealth.  It is the steadfastness to ride the tide of conflicts and difficulties like weaknesses in character or personality, disappointments, frustrations, poverty, sicknesses, and even death.  It’s taking all the rough with the smooth and with flair of love.

 As the New Year started, I got to know several couples who celebrated their golden years of being together in marriage. Aside from Bambee’s parents, Delsy my co-teacher before at the BCPD School in Cebu City celebrated with spouse Mel their 50^th wedding anniversary last December 27.  Then last January 2, our friend Anabelle renewed her wedding vows with husband Walter in celebration of their golden wedding anniversary.  The same is true for the parents of my boss Dr. Glenda who celebrated their 50 years of marriage last January 3.

Fortune Plant keepsake for the 50th Wedding Anniversary Celebration of Spouses Annabelle & Walter Brown.  Like this Fortune Plant, marriage is a gift and a treasure that must be defended, protected and nourished.  With God's blessings, marriage grows hence it truly takes three to marry--husband, wife and God.

Bishop Fulton Sheen said that it takes three to get married—the man, the woman, and God.  Fidelity ensues in a marriage which has been patiently worked out with one’s spouse and with God’s blessings. I know of many tried and difficult marriages that had worked and even failed marriages that became beacons of hope because God was in the relationship.  Faith gave the strength against the odds and solution to whatever may be hopeless.

          Last December 29 was the 46^th anniversary of Mama and Daddy’s wedding.  Daddy passed away six years ago so Mama visited his remains in the cemetery of our town in Bauan.  I can attest that their love triumphed even though their marriage was difficult.  The bond between them has been seriously undermined by many challenges but that bond too has always been made stronger by their faith, their children, and their commitment—loving each other to the end.  Their marriage too is Project everlasting.

New Heights

Lofty goals that connect us with our deeper selves empower us greatly.

          By now, we may be putting into action our new year’s resolutions.  We surely want them  to positively influence us this 2011.   Lofty goals that connect us with our deeper selves—our conscience, our roles and personal mission—empower us greatly.  They make us more free because in doing them them over time, we reach new heights in our courage and confidence, making us more fulfilled, happier.

One needs to calculate his own risks and see objectively if he is fit for the climb.

          Working on lofty goals is like climbing a mountain—it takes enterprise and optimism. Mountain climbing requires great tenacity and lots of work not only in its execution but also in its preparation.  One needs to calculate his own risks and see objectively if he is fit for the climb. It is an advantage if you have a good guide who will help you find the best path and traverse the steep and jagged trails.

I think people who climb love nature including the climb's challenges.

           I had a chance to climb Mt. Batulao with some friends last November.  My friend Carlo made a research about Mt. Batulao--about 1,050 meters above sea level--and persuaded me to go. We started our trek at around eight in the morning. We were like eager beavers at the start but I realized that our climb was also exacting and not just exciting.  It required specific preparation like physical exercises to condition our bodies so that we could muster our energies to reach the top.  I think people who climb love nature including the climb’s challenges.  Carlo found a good guide for us—Jumbo.    

Jumbo said, "When you go to the mountain, it is easier to pray...to talk with God."

          Jumbo does mountain climbing as a hobby but he also offers for a fee his services as guide and organizer of climbs for various groups.  As guide, he knew when and where to give the climbers assistance and support.  He loves mountains and knows a lot of places for nature-tripping that are especially suited for a student’s small budget.  When I asked him why he likes climbing he said, “When you go to the mountain, it is easier to pray ... to talk with God.”  He added that becoming healthy and fit are mere consequences of having frequent climbs.

          There are ten camps before reaching the summit of Mt. Batulao.  We ate our lunch at ten past thirty in the morning at Camp 1.  The camps are landmarks of stones, or simple benches or huts which are similar to World War II refuge stations in the Pacific.  There you can sit for a while to breathe lots of fresh air, to rest and gain more strength and perspective.  We were lucky that there we lots of coconuts so we had thirst-quenching buko juice.  Camp 10 is at the mountain’s summit. 

View from Camp 10 of Mt. Batulao.

An image of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel found on top of Mt. Batulao.

We reached the summit by noon time.

            We reached the top by noon time and there we prayed the Angelus before a statue of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel which, we were told, had been left there by some Salesian seminarists.  We stayed on the cool summit for an hour I think.   Afterwards, Jumbo led us to an easier path for the descent. Byfour in the afternoon, we were on our ride for Manila.

Thanks to our guide Jumbo and escort Ate Mila, we made it to the top.

          On the plus side of it, the climb was a crash course to understand patience, strength, and tenacity to keep on with one’s pursuit.  Concentration and focus is needed so as not to get distracted with what one sees along the way—interesting insects and animals, plants, people and their work, the dark rain clouds, one’s particular fears, or even a very nice panorama.

Reaching new heights initially requires "can do attitude".

          Reaching new heights requires new paradigms or mind-set.  Initially, it requires a realistic “can do” attitude.  One’s goal has to be attuned with reality and be always linked with one’s deeper aspirations and vision, with one’s sense of purpose or mission.  The goal which is to reach the top has to be translated to simple and specific doable steps. One has to be ready to do unusual things like clambering and crawling on all fours—literally like goats—in order to carry out steeper ascent or descent.  Focus and consistency in one’s pursuit are needed to finish the climb.  If not, we fail or we get lost.

In a climb, one has to be ready to do unusual things.

A mountain climb is like a crash course to understand patience, strength, and tenacity to keep on with one's pursuit.

           The sight on the mountain especially at the Batulao summit was breath-taking.  Jumbo was right--then and there, it was easier to talk to God.

Martha, Martha ... On Women and Home

          A feature in Martha Stewart Living magazine for December 2010 was “A Holiday Brunch At Bedford” where Martha hosted her editors and their families for a morning of food, festivities, and snowball fights in celebration of the magazine’s 20 year-anniversary.  In that event, Martha went all out with her decorating and preparation of Christmas foods with all the special things that made the event very memorable.  She loved to share her visions with as many friends as possible.

          I have admired Martha Stewart in making more attractive and accessible the art and science of homekeeping thus giving the deserved dignity to the work in the home.  Two years ago, the family received as a gift Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook (The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home).  The book was dedicated to all mothers and daughters, fathers and sons who have a room, an apartment, or a home to care for.  A livable and lovely home is always consequence of teamwork.  And this is true even if one lives alone because we need the support of many other people to make our space clean and beautiful, warm and cheerful.  Yet the task of making a house a home corresponds in a special way to women.

         
          A Chinese proverb says “A hundred men can build a house, but only a woman can make a home.” The aptness of women for the work in the home is natural talent.  Pope John Paul II had called this the feminine genius.  One of my favorite accolade said on women came from Saint Josemaria  when he said that “Women are called to bring to the family, to society and to the Church, characteristics which are their own and which they alone can give: their gentle warmth and untiring generosity, their love for detail, their quick-wittedness and intuition, their simple and deep piety, their constancy...A woman’s feminity is genuine only if she is aware of the beauty of this contribution for which there is no substitute—and if she incorporates it into her own life.”

             The other Martha whom I have also thought of was Mary's sister. Martha and Mary are two sisters known in Christian spirituality as icons specifically dedicated to action and contemplation.  When Jesus was received in their home, Martha was taken up in housework while Mary sat by Jesus’ feet to listen to him.   Martha was remembered in that famous refrain of Jesus “Martha, Martha, you worry and fret about many things, and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part; it is not to be taken from her.”  Action or work goes well with contemplation or prayer.

           
          A woman who has good knowledge of the art and science of home and genuine piety is a great fortune and blessing for many—family and society.  If there is so much work, there must certainly be much physical energy needed with regular good boost coming from one's sturdy spiritual life.  The demands of house chores can surely be made compatible with some time—even a quarter on an hour—of solitude so as to be able to gaze at God and pray.  This fusion is the secret of happy homes where smiles are generated and shared with each other.  

An egg artistically painted in Russia with the image of Mary and the Child Jesus.

               Today is the first of January in the year 2011 and is also celebrated by Catholics as a day of Solemnity for Mary, Mother of God.  But I have known her too to be my Mother.  It would be a lovely day to thank Her and our own mothers even in simple ways.  When I was a child, I greatly looked forward to the blooming of gumamelas in our backyard.  I eagerly picked the flower when all its petals had blossomed fully and offer it to Lola Acion, a very old lady and our landlady who lived just at the second floor of the house we rented in Manila for years.  She hardly could see because of her eye cataract but without fail, she would smile at me and would thank me.  Without fail, she would give the gumamela to an image of Mary in her room, would light a candle, and then would tell me stories of favors granted by Mother Mary.  Deep in my heart, I knew my Mother smiled at us.