Magnetic Personality in Communication

               

                

                Are you able to make others understand what is in your mind?  Are you able to figure out easily what others think? Are you able to communicate with trustworthiness and influence?  As we interact with people endlessly, we may not realize that we are not communicating well.  My friend Imee attended the International Faculty Program organized by IESE Business School of the University of Navarra for university personnel last May 31 to June 22, 2010 in Barcelona, Spain.

                  IESE’s International Faculty Program has been considered as one of the most effective short courses aimed to improve the management of universities.  Imee shared with me her notes from a class on Persuasive Communication with Professor Brian Leggett.  I think that these notes are useful not only for university personnel but for all.

                Professor Leggett said that one’s soft power is the factor in communication that persuades and attracts people.  It is the real influence over others—a magnetic personality—that appeals and fosters cooperation.  This charisma or personal magnetism is not the mere influence of one’s position, authority, wealth, or age—all of which is hard power.  Hard power can come by with its list of incentives or restraints:  promote or demote, compensate or penalize, hire or fire, and induce or intimidate.

                As we communicate through ourselves, it is important to know who we are and how we appear to others.  He added that without credibility, one cannot reach anywhere.  What is your reputation?  Do people trust you?  Self-management or how we handle ourselves is especially important when there are conflicts in relationships.  If there is a great deal of self-awareness and one can perceive and empathize with others, that person has high aptitude for social relations.  Prof. Leggett named this as Social Intelligence. 

                Another idea is on how our message is accepted by others.  The right emotional environment has to be set so people could accept what we communicate.  The message should not be simply imposed on the people for they have to understand it with their logic and be convinced of it with their arguments.  The one communicating should not be fixated merely on the content of his message or on his arguments.

                Non-verbal language covers almost fifty per cent of our entire communication. How do you argue or explain your cause? How are your other non-verbal cues—handshake, gaze or eye contact, posture, grooming?     We may not be aware but our listeners may be alienated because of our voice or the way we look.  Professor Leggett said that the ability to read out people and adjust to how they are is very important.  This ability is also known as Emotional Intelligence.  For Professor Legget, emotional intelligence is the most important skills in the soft power.

                Professor Leggett referred to Mahatma Gandhi as a master of non-verbal communication.  There is a more important element though in the magnetic personality that Professor Leggett had discussed extensively.  This is gravitas.  Gandhi has it and other fine world leaders too.  The good news is that anyone can have it.  More about gravitas in the next blog.